What do you do when you hear the word ‘marriage?’ Do you blush and think of a special someone? Or, do you suddenly run for the hills? Well, men, and women think differently, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. More so, when we talk about marriage and commitment. So, when the question ‘Do guys think about marriage when dating?’ was raised, I had to do some research and interviews to find out whether marriage ever crossed men’s minds at all, while dating the women in their lives.
It may sound like a simple yes or no question, but as I interviewed several guys from different age groups and cultures, I found out that there are many factors that make a guy think about marriage (or not) while dating a girl.
Why guys ask a girl out
One thing that all guys, agree upon, is that marriage was not the first thing on their minds at all when they asked girls out for a date.
Physical Attraction
Rudy, 40 from USA Illinois said ‘Honestly at first it’s superficial. But if there is even a little physical attraction, I’ll give it a chance. If there is chemistry, I will too.’ We could say that physical attraction is the first thing that makes a guy want to ask a girl out. Which, I think, goes the same way with women, when agreeing to go out with a guy.
For Sex
Nieva, 35, from UK said ‘…when the man is young, he just wants to experience the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, and to explore the world around him. The getting to know each other, and marriage are not on his mind yet. [It’s more of] Experiencing kissing, touching and most of the time sex.’ Well, young women have always been warned that men are only after one thing. Men who are not yet ready for a serious relationship go out with women simply to have a good time.
To Get-To-Know her
Tristan, 42, from the Philippines said ‘… I asked her out because I like her. And it’s just dating. And after a few (dates) you get to know the real person, then you consider if a woman is wife material.’ For some guys, it is important to get to know a girl first before they think about going into a serious relationship. Friendly dates help a guy get to know the girl first, before he decides if she is worth taking seriously or if they are just better off as friends.
Companionship
JC, 42 from Canada talked about how getting out of a bad relationship made him unready to commit to anyone just yet. ‘I’m not really ready to go into a relationship now, after my ex left me. But, It gets lonely. So, when I ask someone out, it’s usually just for a friendly chat over coffee or we go out with friends. I sure could use the company.’ This comes to show that not every guy who asks a girl out is looking for anything serious right away, or at all. Some are just out there to have some fun. While some are just longing for companionship.
A Rare Connection
Kiko, 35 from Greece shared about the first time he asked out the girl he almost married. ‘That moment when she captured my attention, and for some reason I found my self looking to her direction all the time. There was that force that made me want to approach her and introduce myself to her.’ He was talking about a special connection that draws a guy to a woman, because he felt like she was different from all the rest. This rare feeling may be what they describe as ‘love at first sight.’ He said that he had the feeling that she was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
When Does Marriage Come In?
We can safely say that the idea of marriage is clearly not in the picture yet for the first part of a dating relationship. So, when do guys start thinking about marriage then?
Views About Marriage
Men have different views and feelings about getting married. Some don’t even believe in it at all. Don, 38 from the Philippines shared a meme saying ‘It’s a Traaaaaaap!’ It may come out as a joke, but im pretty sure a lot of guys could relate to that.
Meanwhile, Rasel, 34 from Bangladesh shared how people in his country value the idea of marriage while dating someone. He said, ‘In most of the cases, dates happen mainly where a love relationship exists.’ In his case, their culture taught them that marriage is the reason why people date in the first place.
How Long Have We Been Dating?
Through time, guys realize that they may have something special with the girl they are dating. And that is when they start to ponder about the possibility of marrying her. Rudy, from USA says ‘It depends on how long we are dating. If it’s a year than definitely.’ Only time will tell if a couple is compatible. And when a guy realizes that, then he would definitely want to keep the relationship.
Is She Wife Material?
There will be that phase in a guys life when he begins to look for something more than just physical attraction when going out with a woman. John, 40 from Hongkong said, ‘Once I reached my early 20’s, I did not want to date if I knew it wouldn’t lead to marriage. That didn’t mean it would, but if I knew it wouldn’t, then there was no point.’
Maturity
Noel, 44 from the Philippines said, ‘I think it depends on the age bracket and or the level of maturity of the person.’
Ric, 38 from Philippines said, ‘I myself have never thought about marriage when i was dating. I’ve always thought that I would eventually meet other women, since I was still young back then. Though it differs when you come of age.’ When a man finally is mature enough, and is ready to commit to one woman, then he would definitely start thinking of settling down.
It Just Feels Like The Right Time
Charles, 31 from the Philippines has just proposed to his girlfriend, ‘I don’t remember when I first thought about wanting to get married. It’s like I didn’t have to weigh things in. One day I just thought it. It was the right time.’ Sometimes, it just feels right, and the guy knows it is time to pop the question.
Thinking Of The future
Of all my interviews, this one is my favorite. Jidd, 28 from the Philippines will be tying the knot with his girlfriend after 6 years of dating. He said, ‘As years go by. There are times where i could imagine myself having a life with her and a life without her. But the latter makes me really sad and then I realised that she is the one.’ This is actually the best reason why anyone would want to get married. Once a guy realizes that he cannot live a day without the woman he is dating, then he knows has to do something to keep her.
